A lot of people think of their cottage (or camp or cabin, depending on what part of the country you live in) as a place to get away from it all. I think of it as a place to get away TO. Because it’s busy up there, y’all. We entertain guests almost every weekend. We love having company because it’s a chance to hang out with friends in our jammies. We can stay up late, and not have to worry about driving home, and have breakfast together. With guests we can play euchre and Scrabble and Screw Your Neighbour. Good guests (and we only have good guests) cook and clean and help with chores and projects. Having good guests makes life easier than not having guests at all. So what makes a good cottage guest? Well let me tell you, since I was just interviewed on the subject by the Toronto Sun. A good cottage guest should:
- Accept an invitation promptly, and not waffle thinking something better might come along. It won't.
- Offer to bring sheets and towels. Cottages often do not have laundry facilities.
- Offer to bring and/or prepare a meal. For everyone in the house. That meal should not consist of frozen pizza. Kraft Dinner or stuff from your fridge that was about to turn. Clean up afterward.
- Be prepared to help out on a cottage project: building a dock, painting, etc. You do not have to shovel out an outhouse. If asked to do that, refuse, leave, and never look back.
- Do not complain about the length of the drive, the bugs, the weather or the facilities. Do not compare your host’s cottage to one you visited in Muskoka that has 5 flat screen TV’s, a 2000 square foot guesthouse, and hot and cold running hockey players. You probably didn’t get asked back there either.
- If you are a couple in the throes of a new relationship, be discreet. Cottage walls are often thin. Try the bushes. Watch out for poison ivy.
- If you have babies, toddlers or young children, be prepared to look after them yourself. Bring appropriate life jackets and helmets. Just to be safe, make the kids wear them to bed.
- Bring books and/or magazines. Do not hesitate to indulge in some quiet time on your own. Your host might like to do the same.
- Bring your own sunscreen and bug repellent.
- Bring booze. Lots. More than you think you’ll need. This does not necessarily mean you should drink it all.
- Finally, Screw Your Neighbour is a card game, not an option.
You're welcome.